Inside Out
by NeverMindDream
Summary: Firstperson story from Danny's perspective. This is either brave or stupid, I know. I guess we'll find out! Massive 'Trapped' spoilers! [Dannyand?]
1. Chapter 1

**_AN_** _Alrightyroo. This is me going out on a huge limb here. This is a story written in first-person from Danny's perspective. Please refrain from any lynching until the story is complete!_

_**WARNING – **This story has massive 'Trapped' spoilers, so if you haven't seen that episode yet and don't want to know the ending – DON'T READ THIS STORY!_

_Also, I would thoroughly appreciate reviews (of course) but I would also love suggestions as to where you'd like to see this story go and any advice on how to improve! Thanks:oPNeverMind_

**Inside Out**

© 2005 NeverMind

**Chapter 1**

There's something about being locked in a room with a cadaver for 10 odd hours that really makes you start to realize the importance of certain things that you normally take for granted. Like a good hot shower, for instance. God, I don't know if I'll ever get the smell of rotting flesh out of my skin.

You know, I don't usually give myself that much time to think about my life anymore. Mostly because if I did, I'd realize that I'm not happy with a lot of aspects of it. Like my somewhat strained relationship with my brother, Louie. He's always been a bit of a screw-up. Could never seem to pull himself together long enough to accomplish anything. And even when he did try, he'd inevitably end up messing up and begging me to clean up after him. I dunno. I love him, but I don't always like him very much.

Then again, at least I still have a brother. My cadaver friend wasn't so lucky. All the people in his life that meant something to him when was a kid just…snatched away. And the only other people he let himself care about end up committing the ultimate betrayal. I'll never understand some people.

I picked up my brother, half expecting him to look contrite and ready to ask me for some big favor. I was surprised to see him grinning from ear to ear.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked.

He just laughed. "Come on, let's go to the Toad. I'll tell you there. Meantime, what's this you were saying about being locked in a panic room today?"

I told him about my day as I eased my car around the corner to the Toad in the Hole pub, a familiar haunt in my old neighborhood. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been there. Most days, I didn't want to remember. I tended to avoid the old neighborhood. Too many people I'd rather not run into.

I found parking a little ways down the street and we walked the rest of the way. This all felt strangely familiar and foreign at the same time. My brother was babbling on about something or other, I wasn't really paying attention. I'd already fallen back into my old habit of scoping the place out to make sure there wasn't anyone lurking in the shadows that I might have to deal with.

We found a spot at the bar and ordered. I'd noticed and acknowledged one or two people I recognized, but I hadn't seen anyone of any concern yet. Louie ordered us two Guinness and I tried to force myself to relax.

"So, bro, enough of the mystery. What the heck is wrong with you? You're acting like a giddy schoolgirl," I said.

He grinned happily and I started to feel uneasy. I don't remember ever seeing him like this. "I'm getting married!" he exclaimed.

I almost choked on my beer. "What?"

He burst out laughing. "Ah, the look on your face! Priceless!"

I was coughing. "Hold on, hold on. Did you just say you were getting married? I didn't even know you were seeing anyone!"

"Yeah, well, if you'd call once in a while," he chided me.

"Ah, don't guilt me, Louie. I feel bad enough. So are you being serious? You – getting married?"

"Yeah, man. I totally am. Her name is Cinnamon."

"You're marrying a spice?"

He laughed again. "I guess I am. She certainly is spicy."

"Well what? Where did you meet? Seriously, some details would be helpful at this point."

"She works at Tom's bakery. I was in there a few months ago and boom, it was love at first sight."

"Geez, come on!"

"No, I'm serious, Danny. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I asked her out and that was it. We got engaged just last week. We want to have a family."

A family? He had to be kidding. "Louie, you can't even take care of yourself. How in the world are you supposed to take care of a family?"

He winced and I could see I'd hurt him. He didn't deny it, though. "I know I've been a fuck-up most of my life, Danny, but its different now. I've changed. I been working at the same job for almost a year now. I'm looking at a promotion in a couple months."

I eyed him closely. I wanted to make sure he wasn't takin' the piss outta me. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, man. It's good. I'm good."

I wasn't gonna let him go that easy. "So you don't need anything from me?"

"Actually, I do." I knew it. "I need you to be my best man."

Oh. Huh. "Really?"

"Yeah. We're just going to a justice of the peace, but I want you there, man. You're family."

I nodded thoughtfully. This wasn't going at all how I expected it to. "Of course, man. You know I'm there for you."

He smacked my back. "Always have been, bro. Even when you haven't wanted to."

I gave a wry chuckle. Wasn't that the truth. "So, have you set a date yet? Should I be looking to get some time off work?"

"Well, we wanna do it sooner than later, but we haven't actually decided on anything yet. All right if I let you know?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

We sipped our beers in silence for a while. This was all well and good, but we still had some huge issues hanging between us that were aching to come out in the open. Seemed a little like a now or never moment, so I took the plunge.

"You, uh, you ever get your debts paid off?" I asked.

He didn't look at me, but his demeanor visibly changed. He did nod, though. "Got tired of runnin'," he said quietly.

"You know we arrested Sassone, right?"

He nodded again. "Another reason I wanted to end it all. Didn't want him trying to use me as leverage over you."

"He did try."

Louie shook his head in dismay. "I'm so sorry man."

I just nodded, accepting his apology. We'd both paid our dues with the Tanglewood boys. Both tried to bury that part of our pasts as deep as we could, but it just wouldn't stay dead.

I was gonna ask him another question when I heard a familiar voice behind me. "Danny Messer," it said. "How the hell are ya?"

I turned around to greet the voice and got swept up in a swirl of perfume and hair. "Maria Santonelli," I said, pulling her away from me to get a better look at her. She stood there grinning at me, looking the same and different all at once. "You look good." She looked real good. Her dark hair had blood red streaks in them and she had a new piercing in her nose – a small diamond stud. She looked as eclectic and artistic as she always had.

She leaned over and kissed my brother's cheek, obviously more familiar with him than with me. She turned her attention back to me and lightly punched me. "So what, you don't call, you don't write..?" she teased.

"Holy, what is this, beat up on Danny day?" I laughed.

"Maybe – you do something worth a beating?" she asked.

That's when I noticed the guy standing behind her. He held out his hand to me.

"Gerry Malo," he introduced himself.

"Nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand firmly. "This your boyfriend?" I asked Maria, half hoping it wasn't.

Gerry laughed. "I wish! Nah, I'm only her photographer."

"My Jimmy Olsen, if you will," she explained.

"Oh yeah, you're a journalist now." I kicked myself. This girl used to be my best friend.

"Ah, so he does remember me." She always was good at mocking me.

"Come on now, give me a little credit!"

"Okay. But only a little." She looked from me to my brother and back again. "Geez, I'm sorry guys. I interrupted."

"No, no. It's all right," Louie told her. I noticed the looked they shared, though. She nodded her understanding.

"Gerry and I are just gonna get a bite to eat. Give us a holler when you're done," she said with a grin, taking Gerry by the elbow and leading him over to a booth at the other side of the room.

"Wow, I haven't seen her in forever," I mused.

"Your loss, man," Louie told me.

Yeah, it probably was. Me and that girl have more history… Everyone always assumed that she and I would get married one day. Funny how assumptions don't always turn out. We never even dated.

I tried to focus on the issue at hand, though. My brother and I and the gang that caused the strain in our relationship. We sat in silence for a long while, trying to regain whatever motivation we had had to talk about this.

"So you figure you'll be able to convict Sassone?" Louie finally asked.

I just shrugged. "Hard to say. We hardly had enough evidence to arrest him."

"That sucks."

I nodded. "Sucks even more that I'm gonna have to come clean to my coworkers eventually."

"Really? They don't know?"

"My boss knows. But that's only because he made me tell him everything about everything after Sonny was arrested." I took a long drink of my beer, trying not to relive that painful conversation too vividly. "What about you? Have you told Cinnamon?"

Louie still wouldn't look at me. Not that it mattered; I could hardly look at him myself. "Yeah, I told her. Almost ended the whole thing."

I could feel my brother's pain. Some secrets are better left unrevealed in my opinion. Funny how love often makes us hurt each other more instead of less.

"You regret it? Telling her?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Rather have her know right from the outset instead of it coming back to bite me in the ass later."

"I thought you'd paid all your debts."

"I have. But that doesn't mean they don't still think I owe them."

I nodded. I knew how these things worked. Hell, they still thought they had power over me, despite the fact that I'd run the gauntlet and got myself out officially. None of it mattered. Once you were one of them, you could never really go back.

"Stupid, isn't it," Louie observed, "How a teenaged clique won't ever let you really grow up."

Once in a while, my brother does say something I agree with. This was one of those times. "Well, cheers to us for trying," I offered, raising my glass in a toast.

He clinked my glass with a chuckle. "You think it'll ever really be over?" he asked.

"Can't say for sure. Stupid decisions have a way of haunting you for a long time. The trick is to not let them influence your future decisions."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For not disowning me."

"Ah hell," I said, putting an arm around his shoulders. "You're blood. Besides which, who's gonna pay for all my medical bills when all the chemical shit I work with gives me cancer?"

He just laughed. "The city, of course, you bastard. You're a civil servant." He shrugged my arm off his shoulders. "You're not contagious, are you?"

I punched his arm and all was right with the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**_AN_** _Okiday… Here's another chapter with plenty of DRAMA to whet your appetite. R&R and give me suggestions as to where to go from here!

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We just sat and actually enjoyed each other's company for once in our lives. It was a good feeling. Maybe an hour later, Louie's cell phone rang. It was Cinnamon.

"Okay, man, I gotta head'er. We're meeting Cinnamon's parents tonight to tell them the news."

"What? I don't even get to meet her?"

"Are you kidding? You meet her now I won't see you again till the wedding!"

"Oh, ouch!" I said, feigning pain in my chest.

"I know you better than that, brother of mine," he said, standing.

"You need a ride somewhere?"

"Nope. She's just getting off work. It's close enough to walk. Thanks though." He put his jacket on and reached out a hand. "You go catch up with Maria," he said with a wink I didn't appreciate.

I shook his hand warmly, but gave him a dirty look. When he'd gone, I picked up my beer and went over to the booth where Maria and Gerry were sitting. She saw me and smiled, moving over on the bench so I could sit down.

"Louie leave?" she asked.

"Yeah. He's meeting his future in-laws tonight."

"Man, I'm so happy for that guy!" she said.

"What? You know about all this?"

"I helped him pick out the ring."

I sat back in amazement. How much had I missed? She just laughed. "What? It's so shocking to you? The man's like a brother to me too, you know. Someone had to help him pull himself together – what with his real sibling being too much of a big-shot scientist to spare a minute or two."

Apart from my dead mother, no one could put me in my place like Maria.

"I've missed you too," I said, unable to hide the note of bitterness in my voice.

I guess Gerry realized he would never be able to catch up on our history because he reached into his pocket, pulled out his wallet and put a twenty dollar bill on the table. "I suddenly miss my dog," he quipped, standing.

I thought Maria might apologize, but it would seem she'd already done some explaining before I got here. "See you at work tomorrow," was all she said.

Gerry nodded, told me it was good to meet me and left.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to break up your dinner," I said.

"Not at all. He kinda expected to leave when I saw you here." She sat back and looked me over. "You look good. Tired, but good."

"Thanks."

"I'm surprised to see you. Never expected to see you 'round here again."

I shrugged. "It was my brother's choice."

"And since when did you start doing what your brother wanted you to?" she asked sardonically.

"Are you mad at me or something?" I asked, knowing the answer.

She scoffed. "What? My best friend picks up and leaves and doesn't contact me for two years and I'm supposed to be okay with that?"

"Phone works both ways, sweetheart."

"Yeah, it would, if I had your phone number."

I wouldn't win this one, so I didn't respond. Just sat and took her in again. She was trying to look mad, but her green-blue eyes were sparkling so I knew she wasn't that angry. I'd almost forgot how beautiful she was.

"What can I do to make it up to you?" I asked.

She took my hand in hers and started massaging my palm and my fingers the way she used to when we were kids. Didn't seem as childish anymore somehow. "Stay here and catch up with me."

"Why do you always do that?" I asked her, indicating our hands.

She shrugged. "It always relaxed you. You seem a little tense right now. You want me to stop?"

"No. I was just curious."

"Hmm. And what is it that's making you so tense right now anyway? Being back in the old 'hood or something else?" she asked.

"Little from column 'a', little from column 'b'…" I admitted. "Got locked in a panic room with a cadaver today."

"You did what now?" she asked, shocked. I always liked being able to shock her.

"Oh, you didn't hear about that? I thought being a journalist and all…" I teased.

She smacked me. "I do the Arts section. You know how much I hate the 'real' news."

"Okay, okay. Take it easy. Tell me you at least know who Hunter Hudson is."

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Yes, I know who Hunter Hudson is."

"He was murdered this morning. I was working the case. His was the cadaver I got to babysit."

"Okay, but where does the panic room fit in?"

"He was found in his bedroom and his bedroom was the panic room."

"How did you get out?"

"The stupid locksmith, who initially claimed he had to cut a new hole in the wall to get me out, actually had the code."

"Why didn't he use it right away?"

"Because he killed Mr. Hudson."

"Ah, I see."

"You're not gonna run to work now and put this all in the papers, are you?"

She laughed. "Uh, no. That murder has nothing to do with the arts. I'll let the crime beat take care of that, thank you."

We lapsed into silence. There was so much to say but neither of us really knew where to start.

"Did you work things out with your brother?" she asked.

"I think so. Did you have a hand in that, too?"

"You know I did."

"Yeah, well, thanks, I guess. I get to be his best man."

"Good. At least I know I'll have a hot guy at my side."

"Lemme guess, you're the maid of honor."

"You are clever. I knew there was a reason you got into science."

"Ha ha." I squeezed her hand then kissed it. "How are you, anyway?"

She smiled, but her eyes were kinda sad. "Doin' okay. Busy."

"With work or with something else?"

"Little from column 'a', little from column 'b'," she countered.

"How're your parents?" Out of all the people in Maria's life, it was her parents that had caused her the most pain. Her dad used to be a longshoreman. He lost his arm in a work-related accident when she was 10. He became depressed and alcoholic shortly after. Her Puerto Rican mother had very little patience for his coping mechanisms and the two would have arguments you could hear for blocks. When it finally disintegrated into physical fighting, that's when Maria started leaving. I found her trying to sleep on the fire escape outside my window the first night it happened. I made her come inside. She refused to sleep in my bed, though. Insisted on sleeping on my window seat. I ended up moving my bed close to the window seat so we could talk in whispers. She was always kind of weird about accepting any physical comforting. Didn't even like when my mom hugged her very much. I wonder if she's still like that. Anyway, I can't even count now how many nights we spent like that. She always left early in the morning so that her parents would never know she was gone.

"Good as can be expected. Dad's still living on his own in the old apartment. Mom's started dating another Italian."

"She a sucker for punishment?" I quipped.

"That's what I said. She just cursed me out, like always."

As far as I knew, there was no on in New York who was better at cursing you out than Maria's mom. Except maybe Maria. She could do it in three languages, Spanish, Italian and English. The worst was when she cursed you out in all three. Then you really knew you were in trouble.

"Ah, so it's business as usual, then," I said.

Her smile was vacant and I started to worry. "Let's go for a walk," she said suddenly.

We got up, settled our tabs and headed outside. She started walking briskly down the street, but I dawdled a little.

She turned around to look at me. "Danny Messer, are you checking out my ass?"

"So what if I am?"

"Isn't there some rule against checking out your best friend?" she asked, her arms crossed across her beautiful breasts.

"I can't help it. Your ass is really hot."

She grabbed my lapels and spun me around. "So is yours," she said, laughing and smacking my butt before looping her arm through mine.

"What? You never thought about us? You know, there being an us?" I asked in mock seriousness.

"Of course I did. You just never asked me."

"Only because you told me not to."

She gave a half-laugh. "Come on, Danny. We were young and stupid. And you never would've become a CSI if we'd got together."

"How do you figure?"

"You would've knocked me up, took the first job you could get your hands on, probably as a longshoreman, and we would've ended up just like my parents."

"Says you."

"Yeah, says me. Come on, we've had this conversation before."

"I know, I know. It's just been a while. I wanted to have it again."

We walked for a while before she pressed herself against me to get my wandering attention. "You okay with this?" she asked.

"With what?"

"Walkin' around the neighborhood like this."

"Yeah. I'm all right. That's all history, right?"

"I dunno. Is it?"

"For the most part," I said evasively.

"I heard about Sonny," she said quietly.

Ah yes, I was kind of expecting this. Maria dated Sonny for a few years in her early 20s. Her 'bad boy' phase, she liked to call it. She had a lot of 'bad boy' phases, as I recall. There was nothing we fought over more than her choices for boyfriends.

"What, you don't still have a thing for him, do you?" I asked in half seriousness.

"You know that I don't, Danny."

"So what then? He killed a Tanglewood wannabe. We arrested him. End of story."

"Yeah right, end of story. I didn't bring him up to start a fight, Danny. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Shit. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.

"I'm okay," I relented. "Were you the one who helped Louie pay off his debts?" I asked.

"Maybe."

"Does Sonny know that?"

"Only if you tell him."

"Why do you look out for Louie the way you do?"

"You and Louie are the only family I have. Just…seemed natural. I was in a position to help him, so I did."

"You really mean what you said back there about helping him because I wouldn't?"

"Only partly. I know you two better than that. You're each other's best friend and worst enemy all wrapped into one. I knew Louie would never clean himself up till he got out of debt and I knew you would never help him get out of debtuntil he got himself cleaned up. Someone had to break the cycle."

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "You're something else, Maria."

I could see her shut down in reaction to my display of affection. She'd always done that to some extent, but it was somehow different this time.

"You okay?" I asked her.

"Ah Danny," she said, her voice shuddering slightly. "When have I ever been okay?"

I stopped her and turned to face her. "What's going on?" I asked, looking intently into her eyes. She wouldn't make eye contact with me and I got a sinking feeling in my gut.

"Carlos raped me," she barely whispered it, but I heard her. Carlos Giambi. Right hand man to Sonny Sassone and my former friend. I could feel my blood boil in my veins. I was gripping her arms and had to let go because I knew I would bruise her, my hands were clenching so tight. I couldn't speak. I wanted to fucking kill him.

She turned and started walking again. It took all of my energy to convince myself to start moving again.

"I went to the cops, but you know they're all owned out here. I got a rape kit done anyway. Gave it to someone I trusted."

"When?" was all I could manage.

"Two days ago."

I was shaking I was so mad. I couldn't even string a coherent thought together in my own head. "I'll fucking kill him," I spat.

This time, she stopped and turned to look at me. "I don't want you to kill him," she said, an angry fire in her eyes. "I want you to arrest his ass and turn him against Sonny and lock that bastard away for as long as he has breath left."

I must have given her a perplexed look because her hands clenched and she said, "Sonny ordered it! He fucking ordered to have me raped! The same man who told me…" she struggled to find the words. "He told me he fucking loved me. That he would never hurt me. Rat fucking bastard." Tears were streaming down her cheeks by now. I pulled her into an embrace, but she didn't return it. She stood there, cold and unreceptive and my heart broke for all the shit she had endured in her life.

"Hey, hey, shh," I tried to comfort her. God, let me through, girl. For once in your life…

She pulled away from me abruptly and started digging in her purse. She pulled out a business card and passed it to me. "This is the name of the doctor who has my rape kit."

I took it from her, wishing there was something more I could do.

"My boss won't let me work this," I told her. The panicked look she gave me nearly made me nauseous. "But I'm gonna be there with you, through this whole thing, okay?" I quickly reassured her.

She nodded and ran a hand over her face. "What do I do next?" she asked.

"You let me make a phone call." I hit a few numbers and called Mac. I explained the situation when he answered. I felt old and tired.

Maria was looking at me expectantly. "Come on. My boss wants to take a statement from you," I told her, offering my arm again. "I'll drive."

"I'm sorry, Danny…" she started, but I cut her off.

"Don't you dare apologize to me. You did nothing wrong." She just nodded and clung a little tighter to me.


	3. Chapter 3

**_AN_**_ I know, I know. It's been far too long since I've updated this story. I've had writers block for so long…Anyway, here it is. I think I finally have a direction I wanna take this in. Let me know what you think so far and thanks for the great reviews!  
:oP NeverMind_

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I didn't think it would be this hard to hear about Maria's rape. I'd heard plenty of women recite similar stories over the years, but this was way too close to home. I wanted to be in there with her, but I was only allowed to watch through the one-way glass.

Stella and Mac listened intently to her story, asking questions now and again for clarity. Maria told the story as though it had happened to someone else. Disassociation is common for raped women. Helps them cope.

My best friend is coping with being raped. If I ever get my hands on Carlos or Sonny…

I felt a soft touch on my elbow. "Hey," Lindsey said, "you okay?"

I snorted. "My best friend was raped by a guy I used to call a friend. No, I'm not okay."

"I finished processing her rape kit. Got plenty of DNA for a conviction. Flack's on his way to pick Mr. Giambi up right now." She was trying to make me feel better and it was almost working, except that I knew the kind of shit that was gonna hit the fan over all of this.

"I hate that I can't do anything," I muttered, as much to myself as to Lindsey.

"We're gonna catch this guy," she offered.

I smiled to try to thank her. "I wish is was that easy," I sighed. I would give anything for it to be that easy.

She gave me a perplexed look, but I wasn't ready to explain it all to her. Not that I didn't want to – I just didn't want to.

Mac and Stella emerged from the room just then. The look Mac gave me made me uncomfortable. He did nod at me to let me know it was all right for me to go in, though. Stella was asking Lindsey for the details of the rape kit, distracting her from that 'I want to save you from whatever it is that's burdening you' look she was giving me.

Maria sat at the table staring vacantly at nothing. She looked up at me when I sat down next to her. "How many times do you figure I'll have to relive this?" she asked.

"At least three more times. At most, two dozen," I told her truthfully.

"I think I understand why people don't like to report rapes," she sighed, running a hand over her face.

"You did good," I said, putting my hand over hers.

She smiled sadly and I thought I caught her wince. I couldn't be sure what that meant – if anything at all.

"Hey, this is the best CSI team in New York. They won't rest until they get their man," I tried to reassure both of us.

She looked up at me, her face full of concern. "This is gonna get real messy for you, Danny."

"I know."

"I…"

"Don't," I cut her off. "If you're gonna try to apologize again, don't. You did nothing wrong, remember? It is what it is."

"But your job…What if..?"

"Come on, Maria, don't even go there. What have you always told me about 'what if's'?"

"They don't exist, so there's no use worrying about them," she conceded.

"Look, if the shit's gonna hit the fan over all this, then so be it. Can't change what was."

She forced a smile, but didn't look convinced. I wasn't so convinced myself, truth be told.

I stood up. "Come on," I said, taking her hands to help her up. "I'll take you home."

I spent the night at her place. She told me I didn't need to, but it made me feel better somehow. I slept on her couch. Okay, slept is an exaggeration. I mostly tossed and turned and tried to think of a way I could get back at Sonny without losing my job. Needless to say, it was a hopeless task.

When I did drift off, I mostly dreamt about making love to Maria. Not that I hadn't had those dreams before, but – it seemed so inappropriate considering the circumstances.

I must have slept a little because I woke up to find Maria sitting on the armchair next to the couch. She had her legs curled under her and was staring absently out the window, sipping at a cup of coffee. It occurred to me that we had never actually done the morning after thing. She always used to leave long before I'd wake up.

I rubbed my eyes and stretched before sitting up. She'd made me a cup of coffee too – it was sitting on the table in front of me.

"Did you sleep?" she asked without looking at me.

"Off and on. You?"

"About the same."

I carefully sipped at the coffee, remembering her tendency to like it smoking hot. I wasn't disappointed. "What time do you have to be at work today?" I asked.

"I have a couple stories to cover this afternoon. I called Gerry and told him I was gonna do some work from home this morning."

"Good idea."

I just watched her for a little while. She still hadn't actually looked at me. She had a faraway look on her face, staring out the big window into nothing.

"Having nightmares?" I asked as gently as I could muster.

She smiled vaguely. "How'd you know?"

"I've heard it's pretty common. Are you seeing someone?"

She finally turned her attention to me with a perplexed stare.

"A counsellor, I mean."

"A shrink? No thanks. I think I can deal with this on my own."

I reached across the table to grab my wallet. "Yeah, right." I pulled out the card of the psychiatrist I'd seen after my possibly shooting a cop incident. "Here. She's good. My treat."

She looked dubiously from the card to me. "You saw a psychiatrist?"

"It's a long story."

"I don't think I…"

I didn't even have to say anything, just gave her that look. Lord, could she be stubborn. "Come on. For me," I said.

"Fine. For you."

"Thank you." I blew at my coffee to try to cool it to a reasonable drinking temperature. She was almost done her cup.

"Your boss seems nice," she said.

"Yeah. We have our moments."

"I'll bet. Does he know about..?"

"Yeah. Which is probably why he gave me that look when he left the interrogation room with you yesterday."

"That look?"

"The one he gives me every time he anticipates me frustrating the life outta him and throwing his world into turmoil."

"You do have a tendency to do that."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, you must be feeling better if you can mock me already."

She gave me a more genuine grin. "Yeah, well, you might frustrate some people, but you always seem to make me feel better." She looked down and fingered the rim of her mug. "Thanks for staying with me."

"Hey, what are friends for? Besides which, I got two years to make up for."

My phone started humming violently and skittering across the table in front of me. I put my coffee down and answered it. "Messer."

"Danny, its Lindsey. I know you've had a long night, but New Yorkers decided to self destruct last night. We have 7 DBs scattered across the city and Mac stuck me with two of them. I could use your help."

Since when did she apologize for calling me in to a scene? "Yeah, no problem. Where are you?"

"Lower Manhattan."

"I'm close. Give me ten."

"Thanks."

I hung up and downed the rest of my coffee as quickly as I could. I'm pretty sure I scalded my throat. "Duty calls," I told Maria.

She nodded and indicated the bathroom where I quickly washed my face and rinsed my mouth with her mouth wash. Bad idea with a coffee-burned mouth. Stung like a bitch.

When I emerged, Maria tossed me a clean shirt and a pair of jeans. "Ex-boyfriend," she explained. "Your partner's cute. Wouldn't want you to ruin your chances by showing up in the same clothes two days in a row."

"Hey now," I scolded. "I don't date girls I work with."

"Who said anything about dating?" she asked with a smirk.

"Oh yeah, definitely feeling better," I shook my head at her and went back to the bathroom to change.

I packed my clothes in my backpack and pulled out another business card; my own this time. I scrawled my home number on the back and gave it to Maria. "Now you have it. You better use it," I told her.

She smiled. "I will."

I wanted to hug her, but thought better of it. I put my hand on her arm instead. I wanted to make it all better. "You'll be okay."

She just nodded. I turned to leave, but she grabbed my hand. "Danny? Don't tell Louie."

"Why?"

"Because, as much of a hot head that you are, I know you're smart enough not to go out and kill Sonny or Carlos. I'd hate for you to have to arrest your brother."

She had a point. People who think I'm reactive have not met my brother. "Fine," I agreed, and kissed her forehead before I could think twice about it. "Call me."

I waited until I heard her secure all her locks on her door before I headed downstairs to meet up with Lindsey.


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN **Okay, here's another chapter for your reading pleasure. Thanks so much for all the feedback – I really appreciate it. You've inspired the writer's block out of me it seems!_

_I feel like I need to apologize in advance. I have quite a different approach to my fics than Dream does so I'm sorry if things don't go the way you might think they should…I think I've finally worked out where this is gonna go, so hold on, this could get bumpy!_

_**P.S.** I haven't mentioned it, but I'm hoping you've all assumed that I don't own any of the CSI:NY characters. I'm just borrowing them for my story. I hope no one minds!_

_:oP NeverMind

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It was a gruesome scene. I've seen a lot of pretty gruesome things in my time as a CSI, but there is little as gruesome as disemboweling. What was even more gruesome was that this was our third disemboweling in as many months. Someone fancied themselves Jack the Ripper and I, for one, did not appreciate it.

I could see Lindsey was not appreciating it either. She's really good at masking her emotions at a crime scene, but I can always tell when she's having trouble. Her jaw sets in a hard line and she gets really snappy.

I pulled my kit out of my trunk and attached my badge to my belt buckle. Because I needed to distract myself so I could steel my stomach against the gore I was about to deal with, I thought about how I really liked these jeans Maria had borrowed me. It's weird how my mind wanders to the strangest things at seemingly the most inappropriate times.

As I headed over to the crime scene, I saw that Lindsey had stopped what she was doing and was waiting for me. Her expression had changed. She looked concerned, but I could see the concern was aimed at me.

"Hey," I greeted her.

"Thanks for coming," she said. Thanks for coming? Isn't this my job?

"Uh – I'm kinda supposed to. Mac won't pay me otherwise," I told her.

"Right. I just – with everything that happened yesterday…"

"It's cool."

"How is your friend?"

"She'll be all right." Why is she suddenly so concerned about me? Maybe she just identifies with Maria. That must be it. "Shall we?" I asked, indicating the scene.

"Oh. Yeah. Uh… Both are females in their early 20s. No I.D.'s yet. Hammerback'll take prints when he processes. I bagged their hands, just in case."

"Same M.O. as the others?"

"Sadly, yes. Man, I'll be glad when we catch this guy."

"Me too. Let's get on it."

We spent the rest of the day processing the scene. This guy seemed to like making our job as grueling as possible. He wasn't shy about leaving trace everywhere. The trouble was that 90 per cent of it had nothing to do with the crime at hand. I hated to say it, but this guy was good. The last two murders took us almost two weeks apiece to sort through all of the evidence just to get to three identical strands of hair that we couldn't link to anything else. Hopefully, now that we sort of knew what we were looking for, this would go faster.

I offered Lindsey a ride back to the lab when we were done at the scene. She accepted rather quickly and I was a little surprised. She'd tended to keep a cautious distance from me since her first day. It had become a running inside joke between me and Flack. He'd be amused to learn this new development.

Lindsey started expounding on her various theories about who our suspect might be, but my mind had wandered back to Maria. I wondered if she'd made it to those two events she'd had to cover. I should really look into this Gerry Malo guy. She spent a lot of time with him and I needed to be sure I could trust him. For all I knew, he was another one of Sonny's henchmen. I'd been out of that scene so long I didn't even know who was who anymore.

Sonny had always had a weird fascination with Maria. He'd become infatuated with her from the first day he met her. I remembered how he'd pursued her back in the day. He always wanted me to try to hook them up, but I refused. Something in my gut never really let me trust that guy. I mean, yeah, I was in his gang, but that didn't automatically mean I trusted him. What makes Sonny so dangerous is that his loyalties are inconsistent. He's loyal to whomever is convenient to him at the time. Granted, he's always loyal to himself – that you can count on.

I remember how angry I was when I found out that Maria had finally decided to date him. Oh lord, how we fought. I also remember how devastatingly beautiful I thought she was then. Her eyes flickered and flashed and her cheeks had gone all flushed. She'd clenched her hands and argued with me in every language she knew and I almost kissed her. I can't remember now why I didn't.

"…at the very least, I hope that we're not dealing with a copy cat because that'll just make things way more complicated. You wanna draw straws over who gets to comb through missing persons? Danny?"

I realized I'd pulled into the parking lot under the CSI building. Had she been rambling on this whole time? Geez, I gotta get my head back in the game.

"Uh, I'll do whatever you don't want," I offered.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm the rookie. I always get the crap jobs. Especially when I'm working with you," she said.

"Yeah, well I figure I been hard enough on you. Boom. You're initiated. Congratulations."

"Okay…" she said, not quite believing me. "I'll, uh, I'll go check with Hammerback and then run the prints through CODIS and Missing Persons."

"Are you kidding? I offer you an out of the crap job and you take it anyway?" I asked.

"Don't be so sure. If this is the same guy, you've got 2 weeks of sifting through irrelevant evidence ahead of you. I've only got about three days of searching databases."

"Maybe. But if this is the same guy, I know what I'm looking for."

"Wanna take bets on whose job'll take longer?"

"You're on. 50 bucks."

"50?" she laughed. "Come on, that's no bet. C-note, winner takes all."

"C-note?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Since when are we using gambling lingo, Montana?"

"Since I asked you to stop calling me that," she said with a cheeky grin before leaving the car.

I have to admit, I like it when she tries to keep me on my toes. She might not be from New York, but she has no trouble keeping up with me when she wants to. Flack and I actually have a running bet that she's posed for Playboy before. Something about her girl-next-door look, goody-two-shoes, keener attitude thrown in with her dry sense of humor, the occasional tackling of a suspect and that look she gets in her eye when she knows she's got the upper hand makes us think she might have a wild streak we don't know about yet. What does that one pop song say? A lady in the street but a freak in bed? There are days when I'm tempted to find out.

I dawdled a little heading inside. Figured I'd at least give Lindsey a head-start. She deserved it if she was gonna haveta cough up a 100 bucks for me in a few days.

I ran into Flack in the lobby. He looked just about as tired as I felt. Some days I wondered if he didn't have the worse job. At least evidence doesn't usually talk back.

"Hey, man. Good news. Giambi confessed to the rape," he told me.

I frowned. "What about Sassone? Did he mention anything about Sassone?"

"No. Won't admit Sassone is involved at all."

"It's not good enough, man. Sassone ordered it. He's the one we want."

"I wish I could help but my hands are tied. Rapes take a back seat to all these murders."

I ran a hand over my face. This was not good news. "I'll talk to Maria. Maybe she can give me a lead I can pass on to you."

Flack shook his head. "Mac'll have your head."

"It doesn't matter. I'll never be out of his bad books anyway."

He shrugged. "Whatever. You know how to reach me."

"Yeah. Thanks man." I was about to head upstairs when I remembered Gerry Malo. "Hey, could you do me a favor? Run a background check on a Gerry Malo. He works with Maria at the Times as a photographer. Just wanna make sure he's on the up and up."

"Sure thing. Text me the info," he said before heading out the door.

Upstairs, the place was in an organized sort of chaos. Lindsey hadn't been lying, New Yorkers had seemed to self-destruct overnight, causing our lab to feel more like a war-zone than anything else. I was kinda glad I had a lot of work to do. Meant I'd be left alone for the most part.

Hawkes and Stella breezed past me, talking about two different cases at once. Those two could multi-task better than any of us. I can't think about more than one case at a time.

I went to look for a room with an available light table, but they were all being used. There was some space with one of the newer lab techs who was working on what looked like child's clothing. I knocked and asked if it would be all right if I could join her.

If I hadn't been so distracted, I might've been all over that smile she gave me. But I had $100 to win so I got to work instead.


	5. Chapter 5

**_AN_**_Finally! Pumped out another chapter for you. I have some goodies up my sleeve yet, I promise. Sorry for keeping you hanging, but a good story takes time to brew. It's heading quickly to a conclusion now, so hopefully you won't have to wait on me too much longer!  
:oP Nevermind

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_  
I can't believe she beat me. I had not counted on Lindsey's resourcefulness. She used her feminine wiles to wrangle four computers with which to search different parts of each database. I think that's cheating. I don't care what she says about me charming three lab techs to help me process my evidence. I totally would've had her beat.

So now I'm out 100 bucks and we still have no leads. We know who the vics are, but we still have no idea who our killer is.

I hate it when the evidence leads to nothing but dead ends.

We plugged away anyway, eliminating suspects as we slowly sifted through all the conflicting evidence I had processed. Lindsey was in a particularly good mood. She joked around with me a lot and if I'd been paying attention, I might've concluded she was flirting with me.

But I wasn't really paying attention. I was still thinking a lot about Maria. Flack had told me that Gerry Malo was just about as straight-laced as a New Yorker could get. Never been in trouble with the law apart from one or two parking tickets and as far as Don could tell, had no connections with Tanglewood.

Flack was the first person other than Mac I told my story to. He didn't say much. Just furrowed his brow and nodded at all the right spots. He thanked me for telling him and that was the extent of it. It's good to be a guy.

I also ended up taking that lab tech out for drinks. She'd come on so hard and heavy I felt like I had to. Besides which, it was a good distraction. I didn't end up sleeping with her, but I did kiss her. That was only because she would not have shut up otherwise.

I'm pretty much indifferent to women at this point. Except Maria, of course, but she's a different story. She and I have history. I can't help caring about her. She's called me a couple times, just to tell me she's doing okay. She knows I'd be breaking down her door otherwise.

Speaking of Maria, what the hell is she doing back at the lab?

"Danny, come look at this. Is this cat hair? …Danny?"

I wasn't paying attention. "What in the…?" I muttered before abandoning Lindsey in the lab to find out where Maria had gone.

When I threw the door open to the room behind the one way glass, I only caught a glimpse of Mac before the door slammed closed on my face, knocking my glasses off.

"What the fuck?" I demanded, choosing to shoulder check my way into the room. "What the fuck is she doing back here, Mac?" I asked, anger rocketing my blood pressure.

"You shouldn't be here, Danny," Stella said softly from beside me. I didn't care. I had a score to settle.

"You tell me what she's doing back here," I hissed. "She's been through enough shit without you harassing her like this."

I didn't hear Lindsey creep into the room, holding my glasses.

"Her story is not matching up," Mac finally said, his killer gaze fixed firmly on me. This man could kill me with his pinky if he wanted.

"Fuck that. She told you the truth."

"No, Danny, she didn't. Not the whole truth," Stella's voice stayed calm and soft. I wasn't about to back down just yet, though.

"Let me talk to her," I demanded.

"No," Mac said, daring me to push him. Fuck that. I grew up on the streets; you don't try to intimidate me like that. I'd take him on if I needed to. I needed to talk to her.

"Let me talk to her," I said again, answering his challenge. If we'd been lions, we would've been circling each other, vying for the alpha position.

Stella stepped in and saved us from ourselves. She stepped in front of me to take on Mac's murderous gaze. "He might be able to get more out of her than either of us could. Let him talk to her." I admired how her voice never changed. She could give Fay Wray a run for her money.

After what felt like hours of Mac and Stella communicating without words, Mac finally gave an imperceptible nod. Stella, still very much in control of the situation, touched my elbow and seamlessly guided me into the interview room.

The look on Maria's face broke me. She looked completely defeated. I immediately went and knelt in front of her. I took her face in my hands and kissed her without even thinking about it. "Hey, hey, it's okay."

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and I knew right then that the shit I'd been waiting for was about to hit the fan in a very violent way.

"Danny, I…" She couldn't look at me. I pulled the other chair over so that I could sit right in front of her. She reached out and took my hand in hers, beginning to massage my palm and fingers the way she used to when we were kids. I brushed her hair away from her face.

"It's okay," I murmured. "Just tell me what happened."

"You'll hate me," she said, still not looking at me.

"No I won't. Come on, Maria, you know me better than that. I could never hate you."

She gave a wry chuckle. "No," she said so softly I hardly heard her. "You'll hate me."

"Just tell me what happened."

"I went back to him."

"To who?"

She looked up at me and I knew. Sonny.

"When?" I had to stifle the bile rising in my throat, threatening to make me vomit.

"A year and a half ago. He just…" she looked away, but didn't stop massaging my hand. "He never stopped pursuing me."

I had to control my breathing. That motherfucking…

"When he was arrested, I went to see him. He asked me to find you and convince you to get the charges dropped. Told me if I loved him…" she trailed off.

"And did you…do you love him?" It took all my effort to get that out.

"Don't ask me that," she said.

"Just tell me."

She just looked at me and I knew.

"And Carlos?"

"Let me finish…please."

I nodded.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't betray you like that. A week later I went back and told Sonny that. He…he lost it. That's why he sent Carlos."

"To change your mind," I finished for her.

She nodded.

"And did he?"

She didn't answer me. She didn't look at me, but she let go of my hand and I saw the tears start to fall. I stood up, shoving the chair across the room as I did. "You happy now?" I asked Stella and stormed out of the room.

I went to the locker room and started beating on my locker. It hurt, but it was nothing compared to the rest of my pain. Betrayed by my best friend. I couldn't believe it.

I looked up to see Lindsey standing there, timidly holding my glasses out to me. I forced myself to calm down, thanked her and took the glasses from her. She didn't say anything, just sat down next to me on the bench.

When I finally got a hold of my breathing, I turned to her. "Let's go for drinks," I said. She started to protest, but I put a finger to her lips. "Humor me, please." She nodded and got up to get her coat.


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN **My apologies to all the D/L shippers out there…this chapter is not going to be your favorite. This is your warning so stop with the yelling! LOL Like I said at the beginning – save the lynchings until after I finish!  
:oP Nevermind

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I lost track of how many beers I'd had. Nothing was making me feel better. Lindsey had tried to talk about what had happened, but I wouldn't let her. I wouldn't let her talk about work, either. Instead, she was telling me stories about growing up in Montana. I was only half-listening, but I think she knew that. She seemed to be talking without really saying anything, just talking for the sake of talking.

We were sitting in the very back of a very dark pub on a dark red couch surrounded mostly by flaked-out bourgeois-wannabees. Not one of my usual haunts, but I didn't want to be anywhere where anyone would know who I was.

My head hurt from forcing myself to not think about everything. I decided I needed a distraction, so I finally turned my attention to Lindsey. She had crammed herself into the corner of the couch, her legs pulled up under her. She really was pretty. Not hot – more cute than anything. Great lips. I liked when she left her hair a little kinky instead of straightening it.

She was getting to a serious part of her story. I hadn't been paying attention, so I had no idea what she was talking about, but she did shift and uncurl her legs from under her. I took them and put them over my lap, edging closer to her. She didn't resist, so I took her hand and starting playing with her fingers, nodding at what I hoped were the right spots in her story.

She hesitated, looking at me uncertainly before continuing. I just stared at her face, watching her lips and convincing myself I was drunk enough and hurt enough to do what I was gonna do. It didn't take much convincing, I'm sad to say. I started playing with her hair and the next thing I knew, I'd leaned in and had started kissing her.

She was a little startled at first, but it wasn't long till she was right into it. I knew she would be. She had been flirting with me all week. My radar's been off before, but I was sure of this.

Part of me did feel kinda bad. I was overstepping my bounds and taking advantage of a coworker. And not just any coworker; someone who had become a friend. I'm such a jerk.

But I was too drunk and too upset to care enough to stop.

Fortunately for me, Lindsey pulled away before I got myself into real trouble.

"I can't…" she said, putting a hand to her mouth. "I want to…but I can't. It wouldn't be right."

"Why not? What's a little sex between friends?" I asked. Well, I guess it was more slurring than anything else.

"Because I saw you in the interrogation room with Maria. You're in love with her."

"No, I'm not," I tried to protest.

"Yes, you are, Danny," she said firmly.

I shook my head in denial, but promptly let my chin drop to my chest in defeat. "She betrayed me," was all I could think to say.

Lindsey furrowed her brow and shook her head. "You know, I don't buy it. I've seen the way she looks at you. I just can't believe she would do that."

"But she did."

"But she never actually said that she did. You assumed it."

It was my turn to furrow my brow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, she never actually said she was in love with Sonny. And she never actually admitted that the incident with Carlos had changed her mind."

"She didn't have to say it." She didn't. I knew, just by the way she looked at me.

"Exactly, because she knew exactly the kinds of conclusions you'd come to."

What was Lindsey talking about? I thought I was the drunk one in this relationship. "I don't understand."

"She didn't want you to know the real story. She had hoped that what she'd given Mac initially would be enough to convict Sonny, but it wasn't. Come to think of it, I saw her walk into the lab on her own today. No one brought her in."

What? "But Mac..?"

"She must have talked to Mac before you got there."

"Why would she lie to me?"

"Because, Danny," Lindsey smiled at me, "She's in love with you too."

I sat there trying to get my drunken brain to absorb everything. Maria in love with me? If she was in love with me, why wouldn't she want me to know the real story?

"Ten bucks says she told Mac and Stella the real story after you left," Lindsey said.

I suddenly felt like I needed to chug a whole pot of coffee. "Ten bucks? What kind of a bet is that, Munroe?"

She just grinned. "Go find Adam. He can help you get at the tape."

I looked at her for a long time. She must really like me to be this nice to me. I felt bad for all the times I'd picked on her. "Thanks," I said sincerely.

She shrugged. "Don't mention it."

"I'm sorry about…" I gestured vaguely between us. "I don't normally date girls I work with."

She laughed. "Who said anything about dating?"

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "I did not know this about you, Munroe."

"Oh, there's lots you don't know about me, Messer," she grinned.

I heaved myself off the couch. "Maybe you'll have to tell me about that sometime."

"Maybe. Now get out of here," she shooed me.

I smiled and started walking away, but then I remembered something. "Lindsey, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure," she said, eyeing me quizzically.

"Did you ever pose for Playboy?"

"No," she said, but she had a wicked look in her eye and a coy grin crossed her lips. "But that wasn't for lack of trying."

This time both my eyebrows rose. She stood up and shoved me lightly in the direction of the door. "Get out of here, Messer."


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN_**_Everything's starting to come together, folks! Thanks for the awesome reviews. This chapter has sort of become my "Tanglewood 2". I hope it doesn't disappoint…Again, lynching is only permitted AFTER I finish, okay?_

_Ideas for the ending are welcome!  
:oP Nevermind_

_P.S. I think I said this once already, but I'll say it again – there is no owning going on here! I am simply borrowing some of my favorite characters from CSI:NY and plopping them into a situation I have created for them.

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I don't remember how I got back to the lab. I must have taken a cab or something. At least, I hoped I had because I had no idea where my car was.

My first order of business was coffee. I went into the break room and chugged three or four cups straight up before setting out to find Adam.

He was plugging away at his computer, processing surveillance video from something or other. Needless to say, he was a little surprised to see me.

"Are you drunk?" he asked.

"Yes, you gotta problem with that?" I wanted to know.

"No. Just never seen you come into work drunk before."

"Well, I'm not working, so it doesn't matter now, does it?"

"Uh…I guess not."

"I need to see the tape of the interview." I was so tired and still pretty drunk and Lindsey was a really good kisser. I needed to focus.

"Which interview?"

"Mac's with Maria Santonelli."

Adam's eyes got really wide. "No way, man. I'm not losing my job over you."

"Come on. I swear I won't let it get back to you. I just – I really need to see it."

"Yeah right. Mac knows everything, man. He'll find out it was me."

"I'll tell him I forced you to show me."

I could tell he wasn't totally convinced. I found a chair and pulled it up next to him. "Look, if you thought you'd been betrayed by your best friend, but maybe there was a chance you hadn't, wouldn't you go out of your way to find out?"

He looked at me for a long time, weighing his options. He finally relented. "Fine. But if this comes back to me…"

"It won't, I promise."

He left the room for a few minutes, giving me a chance to rub my temples to ward of the headache I knew was about to erupt in my skull. When he came back, he had a tape in his hands.

He shoved it into the machine and found the beginning of the interview. He turned up the volume and left the room, wanting nothing further to do with my improprieties.

I watched myself stand up, shove the chair across the room and look angrily at Stella. "You happy now?" I asked and stormed out of the room.

Stella began to follow me, but Maria held her back. "Wait. That's not what I came here to say."

Stella retrieved my chair and sat down. Mac entered the room then too. Maria looked imploringly at him. "Is he gone?"

Mac nodded and sat down himself.

Maria sighed heavily. She looked so tired. "I don't really know where to start."

"Why did you lie to him?" Stella asked gently.

Maria's smile was rueful. "He would have liked the real version way less."

"How so?" Mac asked.

"The first time I dated Sonny was a long time ago. Danny was pretty deep into Tanglewood by then but he and Sonny were butting heads all the time and things were getting really tense. That and Danny's baseball career had reached a dead end and he was getting antsy to find something else to do. When he started telling me he was interested in forensic science, we both realized he needed to be free of Tanglewood to pursue that. He was afraid Sonny would never let him out. I waited for a few months to make sure he was gonna follow through with the whole thing before I approached Sonny. We made a deal. I become his girlfriend and he lets Danny out of Tanglewood."

"Did Danny know about the deal?" Stella asked.

"No. Danny assumed I had finally succumbed to Sonny's advances. God, we fought. I didn't think he'd ever forgive me for that."

"But you and Sonny didn't last," Mac prompted.

"Once Danny was out and his career well on its way, I didn't see the need to stay with Sonny any longer. It wasn't the worst relationship I've ever been in, but Sonny's almost incapable of loving anyone but himself."

I stopped the tape for a minute. Fuck me. All this time I thought… Fuck. I ran a hand over my face and pressed play again.

"What made you go back to him?" Stella wanted to know.

"Louie."

"Danny's brother?" Mac asked.

Maria just nodded. "I'm not entirely sure why, but Sonny never really got over me. I could hardly date anyone after I broke up with him. He would call and threaten them or find out where they worked and threaten them there. It was ridiculous. I was just about to finally get a restraining order against him when Louie told me he was finally read to cut his ties with Tanglewood."

"Why did he stay so much longer?" Mac wanted to know.

"The Messers are loyal to a fault. Danny's got a pretty good head on his shoulders, so he can figure out who he should be loyal to and who he should avoid. Louie wasn't born with that ability. Besides which, he was always a trouble maker."

"You have a history with the Messer family?" Stella asked.

"A long and complicated history, yes. They became my family when my own fell apart," she summarized.

"So you wanted to help Louie the same way you helped Danny."

Maria nodded. "I went and talked to Sonny. This time the deal was me be his girlfriend and the cash to cover Louie's debts. My grandmother left me a lot of money after she died, so I used that to cover the debts."

"So what happened? Why did the deal not work out the same way it did the first time?" Stella asked.

I didn't think Maria's shoulders could slump any further, but they seemed to. "Sonny got himself arrested. Cocky, arrogant, stupid bastard."

"We pulled security tapes from Attica. You only went to see Sonny once," Mac said.

"He wanted me to convince Danny to get the charges dropped. It wasn't part of the deal."

"On the tape, you two had an all-out fight."

Maria grinned. "I almost wasn't able to sweet-talk my way out of being banned from there forever. Not that it would matter that much, but I'll never be sure I won't have to visit someone I care about there."

"And the rape?" Stella asked.

Maria's smile faded completely. "It's funny, you know. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I really was convinced that as stupid as Sonny was, he cared about me somehow. That he would never hurt me. The really dumb thing is that if Carlos had kept his big mouth shut, I probably never would have thought Sonny had sent him."

"And yet, we couldn't get him to say a word," Mac said.

"You weren't coming at it the right way. Carlos is under the deluded impression that Sonny has some sway over this department because of me and Danny. Tell him you know everything. He'll crack, I promise."

"Would you be able to do one more thing for us?" Mac asked.

"Detective Taylor, if there is anything I can do to get Sonny out of my and my family's life for once and for all, I will do it."

"Can you get him to confess to our murder on tape?"

"Yes," she said without flinching. "I'll do it tonight."

"What about Danny?" Stella asked.

Maria's smile was so sad; it nearly brought tears to my eyes. "Danny and I have been headed for a breakup since the day we met. It didn't happen quite the way I planned it, but at least it's out of the way now."

The tape ended, but I couldn't move. I felt like the building had fallen down on top of me. All this time…

What do I do now?


End file.
